hlafway to midnight he’s
[shedding rose petal/smoke into
his mouth and feel
feel how it cuts
lf up in
it hurts to be so alive
she looks at him eyes
blood bent high&
ready for the kill andd
were we ever innocent?
It is 4am and I am in the bed of the woman that I am in love with. She is snoring next to me, soft in tone if not in volume. I hold her hand, very gently, so as not to wake her. And she doesn’t. And I’m glad.
I am neither happy nor sad but I am tired and in love. I feel like my skin has no limit and my body is flinging outwards in all directions, expanding, a universe in motion. I feel big enough to swallow this world gently like a whisper.
We only write about two feelings: one is the first day of summer when you and all of your friends are standing on the edge of a cliff watching the sun set and being overcome with all of your hopes and dreams at once. The other is when you’re walking alone in the rain and realize you will be alone forever.The Drums (via resolutionist)
This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot for quite a while now and I finally feel coherent and confident enough to talk about it. For a while my gender identity has been in a state of flux and while I haven’t really talked about it at all, I haven’t felt comfortable identifying with either cis-ness or maleness for several months now. I wanted to make sure to myself first and foremost that what I was feeling wasn’t just an attempt to deny my privileges, or distancing myself from cis maleness because being identified with those privileges made me uncomfortable. I’ve done my very hardest to check myself but after a lot of internal debate and particularly a couple of recent interactions, it’s becoming more and more apparent that my continued identification as a cis male was out of a desire to acknowledge my privileges in presenting/being read as a cis male (a lot of which I do so as not to lose my job) rather than an accurate reflection of how I feel. And I don’t really think it’s fair to do that to myself anymore. I still don’t know how to identify, whether non-binary is who I am, it’s all still messy and I’m trying to figure out and articulate a lot of things about myself that I’ve never really talked about or looked at.
I guess I just wanted to talk about this and let you guys know, since my Tumblr friends are pretty dear to my heart and I know you guys are gonna be on board with this. I’m still fine with “he/him” pronouns, and if anything I prefer them based on habit, but I’ll let you guys know if anything changes on that front. Mostly I’d really like if you guys stop making reference to me as a man or a boy (unless it’s in visual contexts since “messy skater boy” is my main aesthetic), and trust that I am still checking and acknowledging myself, and be patient with me while I work through this. Thank/I love you.
PS if you have questions feel free to shoot them over but I’d prefer if you ask off anon thank you
Asking for the attention you need and deserve is not attention-seeking.
Your sadness and anger as valid as your happiness, both as emotions and signals to be expressed to those around you.
&does it hurt yo u, a(ngel),
my hands are k niv e s
when your hands are mountains that i
have made steeper (with or without)
bre a thl esss